The Healthy and Smart Ways to Discipline a Child in Nigeria

Apparently, beating or shouting at a child who is consistently doing the wrong things doesn't help them and sometimes it causes them more harm than good. When you constantly beat or shout at a child, it can affect the child's entire life. The toxic acts of beating and shouting increased a risk of negativity and it could lead them to dropping out of school, it can lead to depression due to fear, it could lead them into abusing of drugs illegally, some finds suicide as an option and it could cause them heart disease because they are always unstable.

It's like giving a child a drug that can neither make them fall sick nor cure their illness so it is best to deviate from something that won't help us and look for a better and easier solution.

Instead of giving a child severe punishment before it result to another thing, the best way to discipline a child is by implementing the positive ways and it will as well help you to build a good healthy relationship with your children and also with your loved ones. The interesting part is that it works for every parent, it didn't just get you closer to your children, it also helps in dealing with your loved ones too. So here are some easier ways of putting positive discipline into practice;

1. Create time

Creation of time is one of the most important aspect of building a good healthy relationship with your children and even with your loved ones. The time factor could either be 20 minutes or 30 minutes per day. Now to start a conversation, you can bring up different activities like; arranging of clothes, watching of movies, engaging them with stories, join them in playing or even washing of clothes together. Your major aim is to catch their attention and bring them closer to your arms as at the moment.

2. Always praise them 

Parents often focussed on the children's wrongdoings and blame them always. Some children have become so use to it and felt like it is the only way to get their parents attention. Instead of putting a stop to their wrongs, they persist on them just to get closer to their parents in the wrong way.

A child feel special and unique anytime they are being praised by their parents even if it is just once per day. You as a parent, you should be more focused on the good behavior of your child and praise them even if it's only sweeping or cleaning the television set, this will ginger them to do more and increase their good behavior which will as well reduce your stress in terms of disciplinary.

3. Set some standards 

In an African home when you ask a child not to do something, they tend to be more concerned about that thing you have instructed them not to do and would want to do it to know why but when you tell a child the repercussions of something they are not supposed to do, the fear remains in their heart and they wouldn't like to attempt it. 

For example, when you ask a child not to mess up their room, they don't really understand what you are asking them not to do but when you give a clear instructions like “I don't want you to scatter your room otherwise you will be punished” they will understand that this is a standard and a clear instruction they must follow then you can be rest assured that they will not do what you instruct them not to do but most times, it is very important not to set a difficult standard for a child like instructing them not to go out for a whole day. This maybe difficult for them because most children can barely stay in one place for like 1 minute let alone a whole day but asking them to keep quiet for 5 or 10 minutes while you receive a call or take a rest (nap) might not be difficult so if you ask them for the impossible, they are going to fail which can lead you into the toxic ways of discipline.

4. Applying Wisdom

You as a mother, when your child is being stubborn, it is your duty to help him or her get through it by engaging them with one positive activity or the other. When a child is engaged with activities, he or she could barely have time for themselves let alone misbehaving and this is because they will be too busy focussing on what they are instructed to do. Positive activities could be; washing of plates, cleaning the house or hand work activities like entrepreneural skills.

Timing is also very important because you don't engage a child in an activity that will take up to like an hour or two and expect positive changes, they will surely get tired and can misbehave in the process but in terms of entrepreneural skills, you can engage them for like 4 - 5hours and always give them the chance to rest. This will help you to develop a stubborn child into being responsible and the end results are always positive. 

5. Patience 

Being a parent, one thing that experience have taught us is knowing that their is always a repercussion for everything we do. Enlightening a child with this quote is the best and easiest way to implement discipline in that child and it helps them to develop good character as they grow up. Teaching them their responsibilities is another thing to guide them through their lifetimes. 

You as a parent, you are expected to encourage your child to do the right thing and also guide them to know that there are consequences for every bad behaviour's they emulate. A very good example is, if you want your child to stop playing outside the house or they shouldn't play with sharp objects, you can tell them to stop or else they will never get a chance to play again and as well guide by telling them the consequences of their actions. This will occur to them as a warning and an opportunity for them to change their behaviour.

If they refuses to stop, carry on the consequences calmly without involving anger and give yourself credit for that because sometimes it’s not easy to withstand a child's wrongdoings.

But if they stopped immediately, give them some credits for it. It sends a message to them that you are being proud of them. Calm consequences is the best to enable kids learn about what happens when they behave badly.

What we should know:

Bringing up a child in a good way is the key factor to positive parenting, which is the reason why following through the consequences are very important. It also makes a child to be more realistic to life dangers and the positive aspects of life. As a mother, you can take a child's phone away for an hour but taking it away for a whole week might be difficult for them to bear. Limiting their punishments whenever they are wrong will get them more closer to your arms which is another way of building a good relationship with your children. 

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